Frankenstein

Chapter 19

London was our present point of rest; we determined to remain
several months in this wonderful and celebrated city. Clerval
desired the intercourse of the men of genius and talent who
flourished at this time; but this was with me a secondary
object; I was principally occupied with the means of obtaining
the information necessary for the completion of my promise, and
quickly availed myself of the letters of introduction that I
had brought with me, addressed to the most distinguished
natural philosophers.

If this journey had taken place during my days of study and
happiness, it would have afforded me inexpressible pleasure.
But a blight had come over my existence, and I only visited
these people for the sake of the information they might give me
on the subject in which my interest was so terribly profound.
Company was irksome to me; when alone, I could fill my mind
with the sights of heaven and earth; the voice of Henry soothed
me, and I could thus cheat myself into a transitory peace.
But busy uninteresting joyous faces brought back despair to
my heart. I saw an insurmountable barrier placed between me
and my fellow-men; this barrier was sealed with the blood of
William and Justine; and to reflect on the events connected
with those names filled my soul with anguish.

But in Clerval I saw the image of my former self; he was
inquisitive, and anxious to gain experience and instruction.
The difference of manners which he observed was to him an
inexhaustible source of instruction and amusement. He was also
pursuing an object he had long had in view. His design was to
visit India, in the belief that he had in his knowledge of its
various languages, and in the views he had taken of its
society, the means of materially assisting the progress of
European colonisation and trade. In Britain only could he
further the execution of his plan. He was for ever busy; and
the only check to his enjoyments was my sorrowful and dejected
mind. I tried to conceal this as much as possible, that I
might not debar him from the pleasures natural to one who was
entering on a new scene of life, undisturbed by any care or
bitter recollection. I often refused to accompany him,
alleging another engagement, that I might remain alone. I now
also began to collect the materials necessary for my new
creation, and this was to me like the torture of single drops
of water continually falling on the head. Every thought that
was devoted to it was an extreme anguish, and every word that
I spoke in allusion to it caused my lips to quiver, and my
heart to palpitate.

After passing some months in London, we received a letter from
a person in Scotland, who had formerly been our visitor at Geneva.
He mentioned the beauties of his native country, and asked us
if those were not sufficient allurements to induce us to
prolong our journey as far north as Perth, where he resided.
Clerval eagerly desired to accept this invitation; and I,
although I abhorred society, wished to view again mountains and
streams, and all the wondrous works with which Nature adorns
her chosen dwelling-places.

We had arrived in England at the beginning of October, and it
was now February. We accordingly determined to commence our
journey towards the north at the expiration of another month.
In this expedition we did not intend to follow the great road
to Edinburgh, but to visit Windsor, Oxford, Matlock, and the
Cumberland lakes, resolving to arrive at the completion of
this tour about the end of July. I packed up my chemical
instruments, and the materials I had collected, resolving to
finish my labours in some obscure nook in the northern
highlands of Scotland.

We quitted London on the 27th of March, and remained a few days
at Windsor, rambling in its beautiful forest. This was a new
scene to us mountaineers; the majestic oaks, the quantity of
game, and the herds of stately deer, were all novelties to us.

From thence we proceeded to Oxford. As we entered this city,
our minds were filled with the remembrance of the events that
had been transacted there more than a century and a half before.
It was here that Charles I. had collected his forces. This city
had remained faithful to him, after the whole nation had
forsaken his cause to join the standard of parliament and liberty.
The memory of that unfortunate king, and his companions,
the amiable Falkland, the insolent Goring, his queen, and son,
gave a peculiar interest to every part of the city, which they
might be supposed to have inhabited. The spirit of elder days
found a dwelling here, and we delighted to trace its footsteps.
If these feelings had not found an imaginary gratification,
the appearance of the city had yet in itself sufficient beauty
to obtain our admiration. The colleges are ancient and
picturesque; the streets are almost magnificent; and the lovely
Isis, which flows beside it through meadows of exquisite verdure,
is spread forth into a placid expanse of waters, which reflects
its majestic assemblage of towers, and spires, and domes,
embosomed among aged trees.

I enjoyed this scene; and yet my enjoyment was embittered both
by the memory of the past, and the anticipation of the future.
I was formed for peaceful happiness. During my youthful days
discontent never visited my mind; and if I was ever overcome
by _ennui_, the sight of what is beautiful in nature, or the
study of what is excellent and sublime in the productions of
man, could always interest my heart, and communicate elasticity
to my spirits. But I am a blasted tree; the bolt has entered
my soul; and I felt then that I should survive to exhibit, what
I shall soon cease to be--a miserable spectacle of wrecked
humanity, pitiable to others, and intolerable to myself.

We passed a considerable period at Oxford, rambling among its
environs, and endeavouring to identify every spot which might
relate to the most animating epoch of English history.
Our little voyages of discovery were often prolonged by the
successive objects that presented themselves. We visited the
tomb of the illustrious Hampden, and the field on which that
patriot fell. For a moment my soul was elevated from its
debasing and miserable fears, to contemplate the divine ideas
of liberty and self-sacrifice, of which these sights were the
monuments and the remembrancers. For an instant I dared to
shake off my chains, and look around me with a free and lofty
spirit; but the iron had eaten into my flesh, and I sank again,
trembling and hopeless, into my miserable self.

We left Oxford with regret, and proceeded to Matlock, which was
our next place of rest. The country in the neighbourhood of
this village resembled, to a greater degree, the scenery of
Switzerland; but everything is on a lower scale, and the green
hills want the crown of distant white Alps, which always attend
on the piny mountains of my native country. We visited the
wondrous cave, and the little cabinets of natural history,
where the curiosities are disposed in the same manner as in the
collections at Servox and Chamounix. The latter name made me
tremble when pronounced by Henry; and I hastened to quit
Matlock, with which that terrible scene was thus associated.

From Derby, still journeying northward, we passed two months
in Cumberland and Westmoreland. I could now almost fancy
myself among the Swiss mountains. The little patches of snow
which yet lingered on the northern sides of the mountains, the
lakes, and the dashing of the rocky streams, were all familiar
and dear sights to me. Here also we made some acquaintances,
who almost contrived to cheat me into happiness. The delight
of Clerval was proportionably greater than mine; his mind
expanded in the company of men of talent, and he found in his
own nature greater capacities and resources than he could have
imagined himself to have possessed while he associated with
his inferiors. "I could pass my life here," said he to me; "and
among these mountains I should scarcely regret Switzerland and
the Rhine."

But he found that a traveller's life is one that includes much
pain amidst its enjoyments. His feelings are for ever on the
stretch; and when he begins to sink into repose, he finds
himself obliged to quit that on which he rests in pleasure for
something new, which again engages his attention, and which
also he forsakes for other novelties.

We had scarcely visited the various lakes of Cumberland and
Westmoreland, and conceived an affection for some of the
inhabitants, when the period of our appointment with our Scotch
friend approached, and we left them to travel on. For my own
part I was not sorry. I had now neglected my promise for some
time, and I feared the effects of the daemon's disappointment.
He might remain in Switzerland, and wreak his vengeance on my
relatives. This idea pursued me, and tormented me at every
moment from which I might otherwise have snatched repose and
peace. I waited for my letters with feverish impatience: if
they were delayed, I was miserable, and overcome by a thousand
fears; and when they arrived, and I saw the superscription of
Elizabeth or my father, I hardly dared to read and ascertain
my fate. Sometimes I thought that the fiend followed me, and
might expedite my remissness by murdering my companion. When
these thoughts possessed me, I would not quit Henry for a
moment, but followed him us his shadow, to protect him from the
fancied rage of his destroyer. I felt as if I had committed
some great crime, the consciousness of which haunted me. I was
guiltless, but I had indeed drawn down a horrible curse upon my
head, as mortal as that of crime.

I visited Edinburgh with languid eyes and mind; and yet that
city might have interested the most unfortunate being. Clerval
did not like it so well as Oxford: for the antiquity of the
latter city was more pleasing to him. But the beauty and
regularity of the new town of Edinburgh, its romantic castle,
and its environs, the most delightful in the world, Arthur's
Seat, St. Bernard's Well, and the Pentland Hills, conpensated
him for the change, and filled him with cheerfulness and
admiration. But I was impatient to arrive at the termination
of my journey.

We left Edinburgh in a week, passing through Coupar, St.
Andrew's, and along the banks of the Tay, to Perth, where our
friend expected us. But I was in no mood to laugh and talk
with strangers, or enter into their feelings or plans with the
good humour expected from a guest; and accordingly I told
Clerval that I wished to make the tour of Scotland alone.
"Do you," said I, "enjoy yourself, and let this be our rendezvous.
I may be absent a month or two; but do not interfere with my
motions, I entreat you: leave me to peace and solitude for a
short time; and when I return, I hope it will be with a lighter
heart, more congenial to your own temper."

Henry wished to dissuade me; but, seeing me bent on this plan,
ceased to remonstrate. He entreated me to write often. "I had
rather be with you," he said, "in your solitary rambles, than
with these Scotch people, whom I do not know: hasten then,
my dear friend, to return, that I may again feel myself
somewhat at home, which I cannot do in your absence."

Having parted from my friend, I determined to visit some remote
spot of Scotland, and finish my work in solitude. I did not
doubt but that the monster followed me, and would discover
himself to me when I should have finished, that he might
receive his companion.

With this resolution I traversed the northern highlands, and
fixed on one of the remotest of the Orkneys as the scene of my
labours. It was a place fitted for such a work, being hardly
more than a rock, whose high sides were continually beaten upon
by the waves. The soil was barren, scarcely affording pasture
for a few miserable cows, and oatmeal for its inhabitants,
which consisted of five persons, whose gaunt and scraggy limbs
gave tokens of their miserable fare. Vegetables and bread,
when they indulged in such luxuries, and even fresh water, was to
be procured from the main land, which was about five miles distant.

On the whole island there were but three miserable huts, and
one of these was vacant when I arrived. This I hired.
It contained but two rooms, and these exhibited all the
squalidness of the most miserable penury. The thatch had
fallen in, the walls were unplastered, and the door was off
its hinges. I ordered it to be repaired, bought some furniture,
and took possession; an incident which would, doubtless, have
occasioned some surprise, had not all the senses of the
cottagers been benumbed by want and squalid poverty. As it
was, I lived ungazed at and unmolested, hardly thanked for the
pittance of food and clothes which I gave; so much does
suffering blunt even the coarsest sensations of men.

In this retreat I devoted the morning to labour; but in the
evening, when the weather permitted, I walked on the stony
beach of the sea, to listen to the waves as they roared and
dashed at my feet. It was a monotonous yet ever-changing
scene. I thought of Switzerland; it was far different from
this desolate and appalling landscape. Its hills are covered
with vines, and its cottages are scattered thickly in the
plains. Its fair lakes reflect a blue and gentle sky; and,
when troubled by the winds, their tumult is but as the play of
a lively infant, when compared to the roarings of the giant ocean.

In this manner I distributed my occupations when I first
arrived; but, as I proceeded in my labour, it became every day
more horrible and irksome to me. Sometimes I could not prevail
on myself to enter my laboratory for several days; and at other
times I toiled day and night in order to complete my work.
It was, indeed, a filthy process in which I was engaged.
During my first experiment, a kind of enthusiastic frenzy had
blinded me to the horror of my employment; my mind was intently
fixed on the consummation of my labour, and my eyes were shut to
the horror of my proceedings. But now I went to it in cold blood,
and my heart often sickened at the work of my hands.

Thus situated, employed in the most detestable occupation,
immersed in a solitude where nothing could for an instant call
my attention from the actual scene in which I was engaged, my
spirits became unequal; I grew restless and nervous. Every
moment I feared to meet my persecutor. Sometimes I sat with my
eyes fixed on the ground, fearing to raise them, lest they
should encounter the object which I so much dreaded to behold.
I feared to wander from the sight of my fellow-creatures, lest
when alone he should come to claim his companion.

In the meantime I worked on, and my labour was already
considerably advanced. I looked towards its completion with a
tremulous and eager hope, which I dared not trust myself to
question, but which was intermixed with obscure forebodings of
evil, that made my heart sicken in my bosom.

Chapter 20

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